zenitsu

[soba]

meme here

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[soba]

... if you wanted to do that kind of thing, you could have asked.

[ granted he gets why

zenitsu would not ]

[swordflash]

I didn't think you'd be interested. You didn't seem interested in anyone at all.

[soba]

Really?

[ ... ]

Well, that's good then.

[swordflash]

I didn't understand it at first. I still don't understand why you'd want to push everyone away. Are you that afraid of getting close to someone?

[soba]

[ stop making this about him ]

It's just easier this way.

[swordflash]

Doesn't it get lonely?

[ no. ]

[soba]

I guess so.

But...

[ how to... say this... ]

[swordflash]

[ talking about feelings is hard. but they've got all night, especially if toi intends to stay a while longer. ]

[soba]

There's really just not much of a point to it.

[swordflash]

What? Of course there is. Why would you think that?

[soba]

You know, with Anya she kept bothering me to be friends. Every time we ran into each other, she'd ask about it.

So, eventually, I finally said we were friends. And then she died two days later.

[swordflash]

You did?

[ he is so proud. and anya's death isn't toi's fault. ]

She's still here, though. She's watching and sending letters.

[soba]

I know.

But when things like that keep happening, it gets... tiring.

[swordflash]

If you always keep the lid open or closed, you won't be able to gain or hold onto any happiness. You have to know when to close and open it.

[soba]

I'm not trying to find happiness here. I just want to make sure everyone gets out.

[swordflash]

[ by then, what will there be left of toi? ]

I want everyone to get out, too.

[ but it's not wrong to seek happiness when they can. it's how people cope. ]

[soba]

So, there's no point in focusing on anything else.

[swordflash]

You're more tired than you said you are, aren't you?

[soba]

... when we get out of here, and save everyone on that side, where are you going back to?

[swordflash]

Me?

[ looking down, he fiddles gently with his sleeves. ]

I'll go back to where I was. Then I'll find Chuntaro and die during my next job. Probably.

[soba]

[ that actually makes him pause ]

What do you mean?

[swordflash]

I'm a demon slayer.

[ although it says so on his plaque, he doesn't expect people to recall the factoid. ]

I don't remember ever slaying a demon, though. Every time I ran into one, I got lucky and survived somehow. Sooner or later, that luck's bound to run out.

[ he hopes that doesn't happen here, because other people's lives are involved. ]

[soba]

[ ah. his expression at that is... odd, like he's trying to control it, but then it passes. ]

It sounded like you're a lot stronger than you think, according to Chuuya.

[swordflash]

[ he stares. that's what chuuya said. phoenix said something similar. jin ling also said something strange. when so many people say things, he wonders. but it can't be, right? ]

What about you? Where are you gonna go?

[soba]

[ he shrugs ]

I don't know. I'll find out when I get there.